so i'm browsing around, and i find the following (real) hilariousness.

The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth

by Anton Szandor LaVey 1967

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

3. When in another's lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

9. Do not harm little children.

10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

sorry, i added the bolding of the text, i couldn't resist. i certainly hope a satanist doesn't read this and i am destroyed. perhaps the local wizard can cast a 3rd level dragon-fire spell and i can be protected. wow, just wow. have a nice night everyone.